It's OK if I'm not OK
In an ideal world none of us would ever have a bad day. We would be floating on clouds and dancing in the sunshine, right? Pppft, lets get real here. We are all going to have bad days and there is nothing that we can do to stop them or to try to avoid them. The best thing that we can do? Is just give ourselves permission to be where we need to be.
A few weeks ago I was having such a hard time. I was trying to be all the things for myself, my kids and my husband. I was trying to be creative and keep the kids busy all while trying to maintain my home and our lifestyle. I fought with myself every single day about whether I was doing enough and being enough. I would want to scream and cry at the same time. I would make sure the house was constantly clean and dishes, laundry and meals were prepared. I would try to over compensate for the kids not being in school and try to be their mom, teacher and activity coordinator. I was trying so damn hard to be OK. I was trying so damn hard to not let them see me cry or to have a moment of weakness. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks one afternoon; I let it go. I cried hard and then I took my journal out and I wrote down exactly what I was thinking and feeling.
It's OK to not be OK.
It's OK if my day sucked.
It's OK if I was unhappy.
It's OK if I cried.
It's OK if I yelled and screamed.
It's OK if I was unmotivated and slacked.
It's OK if I didn't make a perfect dinner or tried hard.
It's OK if I let someone down.
It's OK if I didn't take the kids out to play and instead closed my door for a while.
It's OK if I didn't feel like laughing or try to please everyone.
It's OK if I fucked up.
It's OK if I felt like everything was work.
It's OK if I feel overwhelmed, exhausted and frustrated.
It's OK if I didn't do the laundry or organized my closets.
It's OK if I wanted to hide and curl up in my blankets.
It's OK if I said no.
It's OK if I wanted to be lazy.
It's OK if I didn't understand or try to be optimistic.
It's OK if I admitted to my friends or family that today was hard.
It's OK if I feel sad or unsure.
It's OK if I don't have the right answers or perspective.
It's OK if I'm not OK.
I am the girl who tries to make sure that my glass is half full all of the time. I do all of the right things; I have a morning practice, I meditate, I try to journal and read books. There is no question in my mind that we are all on this path trying to do the best that we can given our situations. Here is the thing; if we NEVER have bad days we will never grow and come out of the darkness. We need to have bad days we are human. We need days to cry, let go and just be. If we just allow ourselves to do so we open up a completely different door. When you have these days and do nothing to stop you from feeling and being then you will be OK. You will feel so much better than you already were!
The next time you are having a bad day or a hard time don't be so hard on yourself. In the end, we will be OK.
With love,
Laura
A few weeks ago I was having such a hard time. I was trying to be all the things for myself, my kids and my husband. I was trying to be creative and keep the kids busy all while trying to maintain my home and our lifestyle. I fought with myself every single day about whether I was doing enough and being enough. I would want to scream and cry at the same time. I would make sure the house was constantly clean and dishes, laundry and meals were prepared. I would try to over compensate for the kids not being in school and try to be their mom, teacher and activity coordinator. I was trying so damn hard to be OK. I was trying so damn hard to not let them see me cry or to have a moment of weakness. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks one afternoon; I let it go. I cried hard and then I took my journal out and I wrote down exactly what I was thinking and feeling.
It's OK to not be OK.
It's OK if my day sucked.
It's OK if I was unhappy.
It's OK if I cried.
It's OK if I yelled and screamed.
It's OK if I was unmotivated and slacked.
It's OK if I didn't make a perfect dinner or tried hard.
It's OK if I let someone down.
It's OK if I didn't take the kids out to play and instead closed my door for a while.
It's OK if I didn't feel like laughing or try to please everyone.
It's OK if I fucked up.
It's OK if I felt like everything was work.
It's OK if I feel overwhelmed, exhausted and frustrated.
It's OK if I didn't do the laundry or organized my closets.
It's OK if I wanted to hide and curl up in my blankets.
It's OK if I said no.
It's OK if I wanted to be lazy.
It's OK if I didn't understand or try to be optimistic.
It's OK if I admitted to my friends or family that today was hard.
It's OK if I feel sad or unsure.
It's OK if I don't have the right answers or perspective.
It's OK if I'm not OK.
I am the girl who tries to make sure that my glass is half full all of the time. I do all of the right things; I have a morning practice, I meditate, I try to journal and read books. There is no question in my mind that we are all on this path trying to do the best that we can given our situations. Here is the thing; if we NEVER have bad days we will never grow and come out of the darkness. We need to have bad days we are human. We need days to cry, let go and just be. If we just allow ourselves to do so we open up a completely different door. When you have these days and do nothing to stop you from feeling and being then you will be OK. You will feel so much better than you already were!
The next time you are having a bad day or a hard time don't be so hard on yourself. In the end, we will be OK.
With love,
Laura
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