MY Walls
I was driving back home from taking a yoga class up at Blue Mountain the other day, windows open and music blaring loud, just noticing how beautiful our Country really is and how truly thankful I am to be a part of it. Lost in thought I kept hearing the words when your walls come down over and over again. Realizing it was one of my favorite bands I turned the volume up even louder and didn't really notice the other lyrics within the song only the verse when your walls come down. I started thinking about those words and how it resonated so much with me.
Growing up I always knew I wanted to teach something but could never really figure out what it was that I wanted to teach. I began a career path in Medical Administration for the main reason of being able to help people and continued on that path for a long time. I've spent years at the nearest Hospital waiting for something magical to happen. Money there is great, some co-workers turned into lifelong friends but all I kept hearing were the words "I can't wait until I retire" and I started thinking about it. Why do we work so hard our entire lives to maybe get the chance to retire?
I found myself in a really difficult and dark path in my career. Things at work were tough. Bullying didn't just happen to kids it started happening at work. I dreaded going into work and coming home from work was one of the best parts of my day. I counted down my days to Wednesday's because I knew that everything would be ok if I made it to then at the local yoga class at 7 pm. Yoga became my passion. Suddenly I needed it all the time every day. I took a dedicated 30-60 minutes out of my day for yoga. The more I did it the more I found myself in love with it and in love with how it made me feel. I felt not just physically better but emotionally I was a hell of a lot healthier than I was when I was at work.
This vibrational pull was unreal. Every time I left a yoga class I yearned to be the one teaching the class. I kept thinking about how awesome it made me feel and wanted others around me to feel just as awesome. I knew then that taking my teachers training program was the next step. The very first weekend at training Shirlee had said "there is going to be a lot of dark stuff that happens..." I started thinking ya right dark stuff? I don't have any dark stuff! Boy was I ever wrong!
Yoga has taught me so much about myself and has made me such a better wife, friend, co-worker, mother and human being. It got me through those really dark days at work, got me through relationship struggles and helped me figure out how to break down all those walls I have built for 31 years.
I started to think about who I was like as a person and who I wanted to be. I spent one weekend driving up by myself realizing that I was such a people pleaser. All through my school days and even work days I have tried to please everyone else around me. Tried to make everyone else around me happy, tried to fit in with all types of crowds and people. Tried to not let anyone down. But then I realized the only person I was letting down was myself. This entire time I have tried so hard to make everyone else happy that I am neglecting to make myself happy. All I had to do was just be me and only me and everything else didn't matter. It doesn't matter if everyone likes me or is happy with the decisions I am making in my life. What matters most is that I am true to myself, love myself and surround myself with those who appreciate me for me.
Wow. 31 years all walls broken down. This is me. A great mother of two beautiful children, a hard working wife to an incredible man, an awesome yoga teacher, a great clerk, a soulful friend, a nurturing woman....what you see is what you get. No bullshit, just me.
I hope that my teachings in yoga break down others' walls, help people to figure out their chit ananda, their bliss, help people to never stop believing in themselves and most of all I want others to feel a little better, live a little happier and breathe a little easier.
Namaste!
Growing up I always knew I wanted to teach something but could never really figure out what it was that I wanted to teach. I began a career path in Medical Administration for the main reason of being able to help people and continued on that path for a long time. I've spent years at the nearest Hospital waiting for something magical to happen. Money there is great, some co-workers turned into lifelong friends but all I kept hearing were the words "I can't wait until I retire" and I started thinking about it. Why do we work so hard our entire lives to maybe get the chance to retire?
I found myself in a really difficult and dark path in my career. Things at work were tough. Bullying didn't just happen to kids it started happening at work. I dreaded going into work and coming home from work was one of the best parts of my day. I counted down my days to Wednesday's because I knew that everything would be ok if I made it to then at the local yoga class at 7 pm. Yoga became my passion. Suddenly I needed it all the time every day. I took a dedicated 30-60 minutes out of my day for yoga. The more I did it the more I found myself in love with it and in love with how it made me feel. I felt not just physically better but emotionally I was a hell of a lot healthier than I was when I was at work.
This vibrational pull was unreal. Every time I left a yoga class I yearned to be the one teaching the class. I kept thinking about how awesome it made me feel and wanted others around me to feel just as awesome. I knew then that taking my teachers training program was the next step. The very first weekend at training Shirlee had said "there is going to be a lot of dark stuff that happens..." I started thinking ya right dark stuff? I don't have any dark stuff! Boy was I ever wrong!
Yoga has taught me so much about myself and has made me such a better wife, friend, co-worker, mother and human being. It got me through those really dark days at work, got me through relationship struggles and helped me figure out how to break down all those walls I have built for 31 years.
I started to think about who I was like as a person and who I wanted to be. I spent one weekend driving up by myself realizing that I was such a people pleaser. All through my school days and even work days I have tried to please everyone else around me. Tried to make everyone else around me happy, tried to fit in with all types of crowds and people. Tried to not let anyone down. But then I realized the only person I was letting down was myself. This entire time I have tried so hard to make everyone else happy that I am neglecting to make myself happy. All I had to do was just be me and only me and everything else didn't matter. It doesn't matter if everyone likes me or is happy with the decisions I am making in my life. What matters most is that I am true to myself, love myself and surround myself with those who appreciate me for me.
Wow. 31 years all walls broken down. This is me. A great mother of two beautiful children, a hard working wife to an incredible man, an awesome yoga teacher, a great clerk, a soulful friend, a nurturing woman....what you see is what you get. No bullshit, just me.
I hope that my teachings in yoga break down others' walls, help people to figure out their chit ananda, their bliss, help people to never stop believing in themselves and most of all I want others to feel a little better, live a little happier and breathe a little easier.
Namaste!
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